My Stephen Malachi
Before we were married, the Lord was very patient to reveal and confirm His will to us, both as a couple and separately. You see, I had these ideas in my head about what my future spouse and the life that I would have would look like. And the man/child that the Lord put in front of me, whispering to my heart “This is the man you will marry,” did not line up with those expectations.
The engagement was anything but easy. My husband didn’t have many positive memories of his childhood. Not only that, he became a Christian in his late twenties, and our engagement was his first Christian relationship. (It was mine, as well, but I am ten years younger, and didn’t have as many worldly experiences to let go of.)
All of this back story is to tell you that things were hard. There was much fervent prayer for confirmation that this thing that seemed crazy was really (are you sure???) God’s will.
The biggest confirmation that the Lord gave to us happened on a normal Sunday morning in church. It was during worship, and all of a sudden, I had a vision of a young man standing in the distance, looking at the world in front of him. It was our son. He would accomplish great things in the name of the Lord.
My heart was pounding. I looked over at Randy. He looked at me. “Did you see it? Did you see him?” Tears streaked down my face as I nodded. ”Our son.” Randy nodded. ”His name will be Stephen.”
When I was reading Tammy Wollner’s amazing book on praying over our sons to keep them pure in this crazy world, it was as if a light bulb went off. Stephen will not have the foundation that he needs to become the strong man of God that we have seen that he will be, unless we start now. And then I was reading chapter 4 of How to Have A H.E.A.R.T For Your Kids, by Rachael Carman, all about releasing your kids to the Lord, and trusting in Him to be their teacher, their guide, their all in all. Combined with Ann Voskamp’s beautiful, yet tears clouding my vision, post about her son yesterday, my heart has just taken a beating!
Here are the Top Ten Things I need to remember about raising these boys of mine:
10. Anything that I can apply to my own walk, and my own life — Jesus died for my sins, I am God’s workmanship, for the joy set before Him — apply to my sons as well.
9. Scripture memorization does not happen by itself. It takes planning, and the tools, and the consistency to keep up with it.
8. If I want my boys to believe that God is faithful, I have to talk about God being faithful.
7. If we want our boys to consult God over their decisions in life, they need to see us consulting God for the decisions in life. Many times we wait to pray until after they are in bed – - because that is when we are together most frequently due to our opposite work schedules.
6. If I want God to be able to touch their hearts, then I have to back off in some areas, so that they can turn to God. When I have remained quiet on an issue (usually processing what to say to point him to Jesus), it is those times when Stephen says, “I can pray to Jesus to help me not be scared, right Mommy?” Or, “I have to pray to Jesus to forgive me, I’m sorry I was naughty.”
5. For them to really understand grace, and the its life changing power, we have to live – - purposing to be grace dispensers.
4. Goals are good. Structure is good. All of the things that I need in my life to help keep things running smoothly? They need them too.
3. God specifically chose these two precious boys to be in our family. What a gift. (Seriously. Running out words on this one cause emotion is taking over.)
2. If I can trust God with my life, with my husband’s life. With our church plant. With my career. I can completely, whole-heartedly, rest-easily trust Him with the lives and futures of my sons.
1. Even though they came out from, and were knitted together within, my body, these blessings of mine are not mine. They are His. We are the stewards. We have been entrusted with the raising of them. What an overwhelming (oh gosh, here come the tears again) honor.
I am grateful to be linking up with Amanda P for the H.E.A.R.T Book Club, and Oh Amanda for Top Ten Tuesday. Thank you, Amanda and Amanda (tee-hee) for giving me this chance to really process the thoughts that have been churning inside my heart the past couple of weeks!
I LOVED the top ten things about raising your boys. This is the very exact same thing I want for my three children too. I espeically agree with this one: memorization does not happen by itself. It takes planning, and the tools, and the consistency to keep up with it.
Great post! And thanks for sharing your story. I have Tammy’s book also…can’t wait to read it. Thanks for the reminder that I need it. Need it to teach my son what my husband and I didn’t have…a solid foundation in God while growing up. Thanks! =)
Jen ~ Gricefully Homeschooling recently posted..Chapter 4 ~ ‘How to Have a HEART for Your Kids’ {Book Club}
Thanks, Jen!
You are going to LOVE the book. LOVE. It’s awesome.
And yes– we are doing the same. Laying the foundation that neither of us had.
Great post stopping over from The Pelsers.
kathy balman recently posted..Review Jake and Jasper – A Ferret Tale
If I could be so bold as to add a #11 to your list (as a mother of 3 young-men sons): Allow your sons to be the men God intends them to be someday. Our culture is working very hard to feminize our sons so we need to work doubly hard to keep reminding them they will be men someday and we have to allow them to behave like boys/men, not rebuke them for being loud, messy, wild, big-movement people (within reason of course:)).
Elizabeth recently posted..It’s All About the Plan
Oh Elizabeth –
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
This wisdom will be needed, I am sure.
*hug*
Meredith recently posted..#3in30 Update: February Week 1
Meredith, what a cool story!!! I couldn’t help but well up with tears reading that. How incredible that you both saw that. I love our most powerful, awesome God!!! You and your family are going to be just fine because you and your husband have chosen to let God work through your intentional parenting!! I love it!! Now…if you get a minute, visit my tab on creating a mission and vision statement for your family
It will revolutionize your minds and connect all the dots you have in front of you…it did for us!
YES — I need to do this.
Putting it in my planner, right this second!!
Oh, my friend! What a beautiful and amazing vision that you BOTH saw! How awesome is God! I think your heart to raise up a Godly man is just awesome…and POWERFULLy important!
Love to you!
It’s so sad that I had completely put that experience out of mind until I was reading the the two books I mentioned in the post. This should be on the forefront of my mind. This should be impacting our daily lives.. all the time!
Praying it will be our focus, from here on out.
*nodding determinedly*
Very insightful – precious – I totally understand the emotions when talking about one’s children… I still do that. This is still something I must practice daily – with my son in Afghanistan – and my daughter and grandchildren far away Up North…
Lynden recently posted..To Have and To Hold -
*hugs*
I adore your heart, sweet friend.
Thank you.
Love it! Shared it with my non-blog reading husband, too. He wrote back “Nice! And cute kid too.”
Katy @ Experienced Bad Mom recently posted..My Poor Cat
Aww!
That is awesome!
Thinking of you!!!
Meredith recently posted..#3in30 Update: February Week 1
Wow Meredith. I was pouring myself a cup of coffee while reading your post, and I had to set the pot down to focus and read your story about Stephen. That is really amazing. How cool that God gave you a vision, and now you’re working it out in the valley. I’m praying grace and strength and protection for you and your family.
Thank you so much, my sweet friend.
Your prayers are a gift to us. Treasured.
*hugs*
Great post! Thank you! I love your top ten – definitely things I need to remember as well. {{hugs}}
Dawn @ Guiding Light recently posted..How to Have a H.E.A.R.T. For Your Kids Book Club ~ Chap 4
Thank you Dawn!
I should print this off so I can re-read it MYSELF!!